Did you know that the word fart is one of the oldest words in the English vocabulary?
No one wants to talk about it ... Everyone does it.
News flash: if you are on a high protein diet, you will have lots of gas.
After gastric bypass, you WILL have lots of gas.
There are no ifs, ands or "butts" about it.
(See what I did there? Lol!)
An unpublicized side effect of gastric bypass surgery is excessive flatulence and the offensive odor that comes with it. It is understandable why we have highly malodorous flatus. The surgery causes us to have malabsorptive syndrome. Our systems don't absorb the food and nutrients as well anymore and when the undigested food gets down to the colon, the enzymes and bacteria go crazy digesting the food. One of the by-products of their digestion is gas (flatulence). Most post surgery patients are desperate for a solution to this side effect, which actually causes embarrassment and most of these individuals have been dealing with embarrassment for most of their lives. The majority of these patients will try over- the -counter medications, only to be disappointed to find out they're ineffective and very costly.
There are "internal" deodorizer pills called Devrom. There are panty liners that attach to the outside of your underwear that "neutralizes" your farts as the air goes through it.
But really?
I tried the pills and they seemed to work but you had to take them three times a day and for quite a few days. And they were not too cheap. I am already taking like eight different pills and/or supplements a day who wants one more pill?
So what do I do?
I fart.
Seriously I am at the point that I don't give a shit. It hurts to hold it in. It took me like 12 years before I farted in from of my husband. But really, why? He farted in front of me since day one!
After surgery .... It literally is so painful if you hold it in. So I have learned to be clever!
There are "internal" deodorizer pills called Devrom. There are panty liners that attach to the outside of your underwear that "neutralizes" your farts as the air goes through it.
But really?
I tried the pills and they seemed to work but you had to take them three times a day and for quite a few days. And they were not too cheap. I am already taking like eight different pills and/or supplements a day who wants one more pill?
So what do I do?
I fart.
Seriously I am at the point that I don't give a shit. It hurts to hold it in. It took me like 12 years before I farted in from of my husband. But really, why? He farted in front of me since day one!
After surgery .... It literally is so painful if you hold it in. So I have learned to be clever!
I know what foods really bring on the gas and if I know that I am going to be say....shopping inside for the day...hmmmm...I stay away from those foods.
Last Friday I went to NYC with my daughters 7th grade class. I am not sure what I ate the day before but man! I was suffering on the bus ride there! Lots of pain, bloating, terrible gas! I had to hold it in! I mean, come on, I haven't gotten that free yet. Although a teeny one slipped out and thank goodness it had no odor!
I know you are laughing right now!
But seriously! It hurt so bad! So when we got off the bus ... I walked away a bit from the crowd and let them rip! I IMMEDIATELY felt 100% better. But the gas came back in waves throughout the day. One time I excused myself the the bathroom and twisted my body to and fro and that helped release a ton of pressure.
Then we were walking around NYC and let me tell you ..... NYC STINKS! I mean it is offensively smelly! It is crowded, noisy and oh so smelly! But it's pretty awesome too! Wanna know why? Cause you can fart as loud as you want, whenever you want and no body FN cares! Cause no one hears it and certainly no one smells it! So I was in my glory all the rest of my day farting away and feeling good!
The bus ride home was much more comfortable.
I know you are laughing right now ....
The point is this. What's so wrong about farting? Really? I mean I am not saying I am going to go out and start dropping bombs everywhere but in my house, yard or as with NYC ... Where no one notices ... Who cares? Lol! It is as natural as burping! And us post-op gastric bypass patients, it is absolutely MORE a part of our lives and it just HURTS to hold it in. And if one slips out and someone hears or smells it, screw them! Don't walk so damn close to me. You don't know my journey ... Don't judge me! Lol!
It is what it is folks.
Just do it.
Cause I am celebrating me and I will be damned if I am gonna sit in pain.
Flatulenlty yours,
-T
