The American Dream: And NOT feeling ashamed of it!

I have this psychology class that I am taking called Psychology of Human Diversity.  Awesome class.  On Tuesday my professor was talking about how he is living the American dream and how proud he is of how hard he worked to get there.  And how some may see it is arrogant.  I see this a lot.  People mistaking your being proud of your hard work and accomplishments as arrogance or boasting.
First we are told to study hard, work hard to achieve the American dream and then when we get there we get criticized for seeming arrogant, cocky and condescending when we achieve it?  When the professor was talking about what he did to get where he was I was A. exhausted just from listening  to how hard he worked B. admired how he did it and still being so young and having a family C. happy to see him take pride in his accomplishments
BUT I can see how some would be taken aback by his confidence.  I can see how SOME could mistake his being so proud of how far he has come and how successful he is as arrogance. 

But I say screw them anyway.

Then I got to thinking about what IS the American Dream? 
It is different for everyone.

For me ... I will be honest ... it was old fashioned "fall in love with my soul mate, get married, have a beautiful wedding, have a healthy baby boy and a girl  and have my own home, couple of pups
 and not have to work"  LOL! (on that last part)  As in stay home with my children while they grew.

And the huz has a saying that he says lovingly (and sometimes not so much LOL)
"America's good to you kid!"
And he is right.  100% absolutely right.
but not without us working hard TOGETHER.
I did those things.  I was the first one to graduate high school in my family.  The first one to go to college and get a degree.  I met the love of my life in 1992 and had a gorgeous wedding with a beautiful dress! Soon after had a bouncing (and boy do I mean BOUNCING) baby boy and then was followed by a good ol' sugar and spice little baby girl.  Both beautiful and healthy!  We bought a home in 2001.  And I was able to stay home with my children until last year when I went to work "officially".  During the years home with my children I would baby-sit other children in my home to supplement my income here and there.  I have been truly blessed. 
AND I am TRULY blessed. 
But all that did not come without sacrifice.  I hate it when people say "You are so lucky to have gotten to stay home with your kids" 
Working moms looked down on me. 
Walked away from me on the play ground when they found out I got to "do this every day" (ya know, play and do NOTHING cause being a stay at home mom is SOOOOO easy) and they had to go back to work tomorrow because this was just their day off. One time a woman who had a dispute with me over something stupid, found out during the argument that I was a stay at home mom and she was a working mom, she said to me as part of the ending of her ignorant argument "Why don't you just go get a job like the rest of us?"
 Me staying home with the kids meant ... no eating out, no trips out to the movies with the kids, no family vacations (we only JUST took one as a family to Niagara Falls this past fall my children are 16 and 13) It meant sometimes the huz working full-time, part-time AND school part-time.  And seeing him very little.  And hard on him because he didn't see the kids grow up as much as I did.
It meant small holidays, hand me downs and sometimes weeks of macaroni and cheese, grilled cheese, cereal or pasta for dinner.  It meant no extra driving anywhere. It meant driving clunkers of cars and back in the day when insurance was not mandatory, driving without it.  It meant small grocery bills and keeping the heat down low and the lights off as much as possible. It meant not paying one bill because another bill was more important.  It meant sacrifice. 
LUCK had nothing to do with it.
It was all about choices. And we made them and made it through.
It was hard work.  It was worth it.  And I would do it ALL again.
All of our choices have paid off.  The huz has a great job.  He is happy in his job and makes the big bucks for all his hard work and dedication.
HIS hard work has paid off. 
I have two still healthy, smart, creative, intelligent and compassionate and tolerant children.  Hunter's Autism has made things tricky over the years but it just has made us stronger as a family.
I got to see them say their first word, their first step, etc.
Now I am going for my Bachelor's in Psychology and going to kick ass and take names in a field I have ALWAYS loved.
Because I AM living MY American Dream.
Everyone's dream is different.  I am proud of what I have accomplished together with my husband.  we did it ourselves.  We worked hard and still work hard and our children see that every day.  And I tell everyone who wants to know how blessed I am and how hard I have worked to get what we have.  We still have a bit more to get to where we REALLY want to be but for the most part "America's been good to us"  :)

So what is YOUR American Dream?  Are you working hard to get there?

And professor .... You do your thing, man ... and walk the walk and talk the talk!
It does not matter what others think or how we come off.
Cause you deserve it and so do I!
Peace
~T

The family on our first "family" vacation in Fall of 2013

 

 

 

 

  little house by the sea!