Challenge accepted!

I can remember when a wee crying baby came into the world at 9lbs 5oz.
I remember what we decided his name was going to be.
I remember when I realized he was different than ALL the other babies, all the other toddlers and all the other pre-teens, teenagers ... Adults.
This boy was SO smart!
Standing at five months to pull his mobile down on his crib, figuring out how to climb out of his crib at nine months and escaping his screened in room from at a year.
But he did not speak.
No mama, no dada, no baba ...
Incoherent grunts, screaming, crying, pointing ... Tantrums!

This boy who I didn't think would ever survive kindergarten, elementary years.  Middle school, high school, driving a car ... Graduating.

We had no help or any services when he was small or any time.  No ABA, no HBTS, no respite, no PASS, no CEDDAR, no SSI.
I have been this boy's advocate, his speech pathologist, his occupational therapist, his play therapist, his teacher.  I sometimes feel as though I have been robbed of just being his mother.

Such care and thought went into trying to show him he is more than his diagnosis given to him so late in life of Aspergers at age eleven.
He has been called spoiled, stubborn, lazy, not working to his potential ... We have had good

educators and bad ones.  Doctor after doctor, therapist after therapist, medication after medication.

It has all come to this point that I never thought he would get to.  Graduation.
It's amazing when you sit with your baby and wonder ... What will he sound like when he speaks?  Then not hear him say mama until about three years old.  So many struggles.  So much crying, wondering, sleepless nights.

Now my worries are different.  Will he understand if someone tries to take advantage of him? Will he follow the wrong kids because they know he has Autism and he wants to be cool? Will he be able to hold a job? Will he ever be able to live on his own? Will he ever find a girl who will understand his MANY quirks and eccentricities? And love and appreciate them?

For now I am going to just enjoy the process and hope he can make it through graduation.
He is a bit nervous as am I.  This is a big step into the real world.  The small bites he has taken have not truly prepared him for the real meal of full fledged adulthood.  No more getting up and knowing exactly what he is doing.  Exactly what is expected of him.

It will be a challenge.  The one thing Hunter has never ever deprived us with is a damn good challenge.

Here we go boy .... Take a deep breath and ....jump ....

Heartache NoMore

I have always been the best friend I can be.  I have been there for highs and for some ... At their rock bottom when they were in despair! I don't ask for much.  I usually don't ask for anything at all. I like being a good friend it makes me feel happy to make other people happy and to know that people can count on me when they need me. No matter when ... if they need anything at all in the middle of exams, in the middle the night or for anything. But I guess I can't make everybody happy and sometimes no matter what you do it's just not good enough. But I know that I am a good friend and that I can be a good friend. If other people don't know that ... that is their loss. Myheart is not aching anymore.
I do not however like passive aggressiveness.  I still say that if you have something to say ... say it to my face.  It never ends!  I constantly feel like I'm in high school. I mean ... give me a break and grow up.  People know where to find me.  I am always prepared to defend myself if I'm defending myself against the truth.  If you're asking me to defend myself against lies well then I have nothing to give to you and that kind of fight is not worth my energy.

 Short and sweet.