It is hard to believe that on February 14 Valentine's Day of this year will be two years since my gastric bypass surgery. It's amazing to think that two years ago I was almost 300 pounds and unhealthy. Although I was still very happy living my life in going along with these other health issues I knew that eventually something had to be done because MY BODY WAS NOT HAPPY ... so obviously I chose to take the journey towards gastric bypass. If you want to read all about that than just scroll through my past posts. I have been blogging since the beginning.
I have found out that it's hard to trust your body. It's hard to trust thinking that your body knows exactly what it's doing. When you're hungry your body signals your brain to tell you that you need food. A lot of us have had the problems with eating too much food or eating the wrong kinds of foods because even though our body gives us the physical indication that we're hungry it's still our responsibility to decide what we are actually putting in it to nourish and fuel our bodies. I am not perfect. Sometimes I choose cookies over veggies ... sometimes I choose ice cream over Greek yogurt. And almost always I will choose coffee over water. LOL!
But I have learned the past two years that is important to not deny yourself these things because then you want them more. It really is true. Life is about balance. Balance is the number one key to success. I don't really know exactly what my problem was. Why I was heavy or why I developed those health problems that come along with weight. I am sure it was a huge combination of things. Genetics, environment, diet, hormones, depression ... etc.
I do know that I always have been conscious about what I put inside my body but sometimes we just get tired ... we get tired of the day-to-day, we get tired of running around all the time, we get tired our kids, we get tired of work and then we just become lazy and we put whatever we can into our faces because it's just going to keep us going. We can attribute our weight to poor choices, we can attribute our weight problems to genetics, and all kinds of things. I honestly believe that it definitely comes down to portion control, food choice and balance.
I will be absolutely 100% honest with you that I do not eat THAT much differently than I did before gastric bypass surgery. Now obviously everything I say in this blog has to do with ME and me only. I would never recommend that you do anything that I do because every single person's body is different. But I do believe it's important to offer information on how everyone's body is different. I feel that everyone has an experience through this journey that shows us HOW diverse the results can be.
Now that's not to say that I don't make better choices now when it comes to food. Obviously I do and obviously I have to because there's some things that I cannot and will not be able to eat for the rest of my life because of gastric bypass. But I don't ever feel that I deny myself anything.
I will try anything once even if it's bad or what people say is bad. ***Let me go on a side note here saying that there's no good or bad food. Food is food. You have good or poor choices what to put in your body. Just my wee outlook on that issue. You can agree or disagree or agree to disagree LOL
I know a lot of people have issues with food and after gastric bypass surgery do not even want to try the foods that they feel got them into trouble with their weight in the first place.
And that's perfectly fine with them. And fine with me. Find what works for YOU. *** (see note after photos below)
It's up to each individual to know what got them to their point of being overweight and unhealthy. Recognize those patterns and make sure they are not to be repeated.
But I do feel in my situation that I'm strong enough to be able to still choose to eat certain things. That's my choice. This is what my husband and my BFF would call "the slippery slope". LOL I know this sounds kind of foolish but I personally like to challenge myself. I know it sounds awful because you think "you went through all of that trouble or experience to become healthy why would you even choose to eat anything that would be unhealthy that may have gotten you into trouble in the first place."
My point to myself is I want to be able to have the power over my body and my mind to choose to have something if I want to. And to be able to choose that food and not over do it. Because I feel you are here on this planet for such a short time why deny yourself things that give you a little bit of pleasure. If you can find that balance that's awesome. I've worked hard to find that balance.
And like in the title of this blog I have learned to trust my body. I have gained weight back (from my lowest weight) but I do honestly believe that my body needed that weight. I went as low as 148 pounds I didn't really feel healthy there. I didn't feel strong. I didn't feel healthy. I didn't feel powerful. I felt weak and drained.
It was it nice to fit into a size 12 pants and not have to be tight ... yeah sure. And I figured that I was supposed to be fine with that. But then I started gaining little bit of weight. At first I was a little concerned because I was like "oh crap there is that slippery slope that everyone talks about". But then I realized that I was starting to feel stronger. That I was actually eating more because I felt like my body needed it. And my body started to level out right around 165. Now this would freak people out because that's like almost 20 pounds from my lowest weight. But I think now that my body knew that was unrealistic. I went through that stage of people thinking or outright saying "Um ... I think you can stop now." or "You are looking too thin" I mean really people ... too fat ... too thin. Whatever. I just trusted my body and waited. Patiently.
I waited and waited and really tried to trust my body and see what my body really wanted. I didn't go by charts. I didn't go buy pants sizes and I didn't even go by the scale.
I just watched the scale to see as a general form of measurement to what my body decided it was going to do. I have maintained my 160-165 for MORE than a year now. I have come to the conclusion that my body wants to float between 160-165.
Now that being said I haven't really worked on any real legitimate fitness routine yet. I mean I am obviously more active daily than I was two years ago but I wanted to wait until my second year to see what my skin would do ... what my body would do. When I DO start a routine and hopefully a more strict regimen .. I may lose some weight and I may gain some weight due to muscle or strength training but you know what I really don't care. My body and I had a long talk and I am going to trust it. So far it has not let me down. I swim, walk the track at the college, run to classes (cause I am almost always late in the morning), climb 3-4 flights a stairs several times a day on campus. In the warmer months I walk the dogs down to the beach, garden, clean the yard like a mad woman, swim in the pool and did three 5Ks last year.
I am a size 14 pants, a size medium to large shirt. (at my largest I was a size 26 pants ...for a very short time even a 28 pants... and 3XL shirt)
I look good and feel stronger now and that makes me feel happy.
I will never be a size 4.
I will never be a size 6 or eight or 10 or not even a size 12. I was not comfortable at a size 12.
I was just more dreamy about the actual number.
But my body is smart.
It is a machine and it knows what its doing.
It is complex.
You have to trust that your body absolutely knows what it needs.\
It was screaming to me to trust it ... It was begging me to listen before surgery and now its doing the same.
You just have to be very very quiet sometimes and listen.
*** ALWAYS work with a therapist/nutritionist/physician if you feel you have an unhealthy relationship with food and still struggle after surgery or if you are not seeing the results you thought or think you should. NO question is a stupid question. These professionals are there to help you! ALWAYS work with your surgeon about ANY concerns you have about your progress. ALWAYS work on what works for YOU. AND NEVER change anything without the advice of your physician.
