Hunter ... Our little enigma!

Every Year I post this on my FB.  Some of you may not have seen it there but being April which is Autism Awareness Month ... I thought I would post it here on my blog as well.

Hunter ... our little enigma! :)

 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

Today is Autism Awareness month and

I celebrate my son, Hunter, who has Asperger's Disorder. For those of you who know me well, know Hunter and what a beautiful boy he is inside and out. Some know how I struggle on a daily basis and others don't. It is hard seeing your child struggle with things daily that seem so trivial to most of us. Just starting and continuing a conversation with his peers is a battle he has to face daily. A battle you say? Yes ... a conversation may seem so easy for most of us. We banter back and forth but did you ever really think about how a conversation works. One has to either start it or answer to one that has started. You have to read cues in the other person's face, eyes, body to see what they are trying to communicate as well as listen and recognize the idiosyncratic of their voice and choice of words they use so you can respond appropriately. Then you have to counter speak in a way that is understandable to them and so on and so forth. Not so easy when you think of it that way. Now imagine you are in a box where everything is muffled and conversations and uses of metaphors, idioms and figures of speech come into play where you take everything literally. Hmmmm ... more complex then you though huh? And that is just one of the issues that makes having Asperger's so hard. And being a pre-teen boy on top of that. Well ...

For those of you who don't know, Asperger's Disorder is a developmental disorder that affects a child's ability to socialize and communicate effectively with others. Children with Asperger's syndrome typically exhibit social awkwardness and an all-absorbing interest in specific topics.
The obsessive routines. The preoccupation with one subject of interest (to the exclusion of most everything else). The problems they face understanding different social situations. The oversensitivity to sounds, tastes, smells and sights. Their feelings of being overwhelmed by even the smallest of changes…
The pressure I face daily are the inability to communicate with my child, the awkwardness I feel in social situations, the pressure it puts on my relationships with other members of my family, and the desperate desire to try anything – in amongst a sea of physical and emotional exhaustion - to ensure Hunter is able to enjoy the best that life can offer – even if it’s on his terms.
It can be VERY frustrating having a child with Aspergers. The hardest part is I feel like I’ll never actually get to know my child and how they see the world in the same way other parents do.
But Hunter brings me joy in other ways. When he just comes up and hugs me and says "I love you mom" something he does randomly. (and not just when he is in trouble) How he seems to see things in a way no one else does. How I am glad he does not fit into society's little tight box and how he refuses to be anything but his true self. He makes me proud to be his mom and the day to day struggles he faces he faces with dignity and strength. Not all the time but mostly and how he is accepting of the fact he is different and how he just has to learn to cope and deal and make it work for him. I am proud of how far he has come and what he has achieved the past few years.
Today I celebrate Hunter Irving Ward. And I celebrate the boy he is, the man he will become and how I am proud to be his mom.

 

The American Dream: And NOT feeling ashamed of it!

I have this psychology class that I am taking called Psychology of Human Diversity.  Awesome class.  On Tuesday my professor was talking about how he is living the American dream and how proud he is of how hard he worked to get there.  And how some may see it is arrogant.  I see this a lot.  People mistaking your being proud of your hard work and accomplishments as arrogance or boasting.
First we are told to study hard, work hard to achieve the American dream and then when we get there we get criticized for seeming arrogant, cocky and condescending when we achieve it?  When the professor was talking about what he did to get where he was I was A. exhausted just from listening  to how hard he worked B. admired how he did it and still being so young and having a family C. happy to see him take pride in his accomplishments
BUT I can see how some would be taken aback by his confidence.  I can see how SOME could mistake his being so proud of how far he has come and how successful he is as arrogance. 

But I say screw them anyway.

Then I got to thinking about what IS the American Dream? 
It is different for everyone.

For me ... I will be honest ... it was old fashioned "fall in love with my soul mate, get married, have a beautiful wedding, have a healthy baby boy and a girl  and have my own home, couple of pups
 and not have to work"  LOL! (on that last part)  As in stay home with my children while they grew.

And the huz has a saying that he says lovingly (and sometimes not so much LOL)
"America's good to you kid!"
And he is right.  100% absolutely right.
but not without us working hard TOGETHER.
I did those things.  I was the first one to graduate high school in my family.  The first one to go to college and get a degree.  I met the love of my life in 1992 and had a gorgeous wedding with a beautiful dress! Soon after had a bouncing (and boy do I mean BOUNCING) baby boy and then was followed by a good ol' sugar and spice little baby girl.  Both beautiful and healthy!  We bought a home in 2001.  And I was able to stay home with my children until last year when I went to work "officially".  During the years home with my children I would baby-sit other children in my home to supplement my income here and there.  I have been truly blessed. 
AND I am TRULY blessed. 
But all that did not come without sacrifice.  I hate it when people say "You are so lucky to have gotten to stay home with your kids" 
Working moms looked down on me. 
Walked away from me on the play ground when they found out I got to "do this every day" (ya know, play and do NOTHING cause being a stay at home mom is SOOOOO easy) and they had to go back to work tomorrow because this was just their day off. One time a woman who had a dispute with me over something stupid, found out during the argument that I was a stay at home mom and she was a working mom, she said to me as part of the ending of her ignorant argument "Why don't you just go get a job like the rest of us?"
 Me staying home with the kids meant ... no eating out, no trips out to the movies with the kids, no family vacations (we only JUST took one as a family to Niagara Falls this past fall my children are 16 and 13) It meant sometimes the huz working full-time, part-time AND school part-time.  And seeing him very little.  And hard on him because he didn't see the kids grow up as much as I did.
It meant small holidays, hand me downs and sometimes weeks of macaroni and cheese, grilled cheese, cereal or pasta for dinner.  It meant no extra driving anywhere. It meant driving clunkers of cars and back in the day when insurance was not mandatory, driving without it.  It meant small grocery bills and keeping the heat down low and the lights off as much as possible. It meant not paying one bill because another bill was more important.  It meant sacrifice. 
LUCK had nothing to do with it.
It was all about choices. And we made them and made it through.
It was hard work.  It was worth it.  And I would do it ALL again.
All of our choices have paid off.  The huz has a great job.  He is happy in his job and makes the big bucks for all his hard work and dedication.
HIS hard work has paid off. 
I have two still healthy, smart, creative, intelligent and compassionate and tolerant children.  Hunter's Autism has made things tricky over the years but it just has made us stronger as a family.
I got to see them say their first word, their first step, etc.
Now I am going for my Bachelor's in Psychology and going to kick ass and take names in a field I have ALWAYS loved.
Because I AM living MY American Dream.
Everyone's dream is different.  I am proud of what I have accomplished together with my husband.  we did it ourselves.  We worked hard and still work hard and our children see that every day.  And I tell everyone who wants to know how blessed I am and how hard I have worked to get what we have.  We still have a bit more to get to where we REALLY want to be but for the most part "America's been good to us"  :)

So what is YOUR American Dream?  Are you working hard to get there?

And professor .... You do your thing, man ... and walk the walk and talk the talk!
It does not matter what others think or how we come off.
Cause you deserve it and so do I!
Peace
~T

The family on our first "family" vacation in Fall of 2013

 

 

 

 

  little house by the sea!

 

Oh yeah!

So I contacted a company called Oh Yeah!.... they are the most delicious protein bars I have ever tasted. Now you all know I recently put one up a post for the Quest company and I love them too and Quest did a fantastic job of sending me a boatload of stuff and I appreciate that. They DID send me MORE  than Oh Yeah! did.

But Oh Yeah! was my very first protein product that I tried after weight-loss surgery and it is by far the yummiest of bars.  I actually would have to say that they both are pretty equal I just think  the Oh Yeah! buys are a little lighter and a little easier to eat at one particular time. The Quest bars tend to be a bit more dense and I am only able to eat half and then eat the other half later on the day which is fine. There are pros and cons to both companies but I have to say of all the protein companies on the market these two are the only ones that I will eat. They are a little pricey but well worth it. 

Call them or email them and ask them for samples. Most of the time they will be delighted to send you samples to try out. They probably sent me a little more than they usually would send the normal person because I did mention that I would be mentioning them on my blog. My blog is for the weight-loss community to see and experience things about my journey that are making my experience a little better.

These two companies by far are the tastiest as far as the protein bars the smoothest as far as the protein powder and by far the yummiest in overall taste.

So thank you Oh Yeah you made my day all!

OH YEAH!

-t

Quest is the best!!

So I wrote to Quest about my whole journey!  Look at the abundant of stuff they sent!  They are really yummy!  If you are a bariatric patient ...or not....try this product!  Plus they are SUPER nice people to deal with!  Awesome nutrition!