Inspiring minds want to know....

This was written in January of 2014 but just posting it now.

It has been said to me that my journey inspires people.  That I am an inspiration for others who are pre-op and post-op.  I have a great sense of humor and aura and people love being around my energy.  While this makes me feel wonderful, it is hard for me to hear.  I have never been one to receive compliments easily.  I feel awkward when I get them.  Not that I don't believe in myself or feel like I deserve them .... It just feels awkward.  I am struggling more and more when out and about people are complimenting my appearance more.  THIS is something that has never really happened much at all.  Strangers randomly smiling at me, holding doors and actually verbally complimenting me.
I want to share my journey with those who want to hear about it.  I want people to see how my life has changed since surgery.  I want people to be able to read that and feel connected to more themselves and not necessarily me.  I love that I inspire them but I want them to look inside themselves and find that natural strength we all have, that they possess but did not realize they could tap into. Dig deep for it on those days when things seem bleak.

And if they can build strength on my journey to do so then that makes me happy.

~T

Me and puppy

Two years ago  I bought this sweatshirt.  I was at Niagara Falls to visit my cousin.  I went on the maid of the mist and wanted a sweatshirt so bad.  They didn't have a zip up one because I needed a 2X and they were just too much money.  I found this sweatshirt.  It, too, is a 2X.  I could barely pull it over my body but I wanted it!  I could imagine how comfy it would be if I could wrap myself up in it and sit all cozy on the couch with the hood on.  Go out on a brisk fall day and just throw it on.  But when I got home it was just too tight.  But I put it in a drawer and someday I knew I would wear it and be comfy in it.  The other day I pulled it out and put it on.   Now it is VERY big!  I fit in it with SO much room and apparently room for the pup as well! The last picture in the series is me and the pup this morning snuggling in the sweatshirt!   I seriously had to squeeze my body into it back then! 

Here are some more pics from that trip two years ago and ones I took just this past October.

I am amazed at how my body has changed!  I had a great weekend time that first summer.  It was probably my heaviest ...around 278-280.  But I swam in my bathing suit, walked all around Niagara Falls.  Made an 8-10 hour trip to and from driving.  Walked around all day with the kid.  Went to one of the Great Lakes (in my bathing suit but had shorts on cause I don't like sand in THAT area lol!) with the cuz and the kids and lived life.  This past rip the whole fam went and we did lots of fun things too.  I realized that I never let my weight stop me from being who I was, my love for life and how I held myself as a plus sized woman! I was always confident, had as much fun as I could and loved life to the fullest.  The only thing that has changed with me now is that I am smaller.  I still have the same smile, the same sense of humor, the same love for life and the same confidence!  I live healthier now but that is not even the biggest thing.  I appreciate how much being a plus sized woman made me who I am today because I really didn't know any different.  Some people worry that you change after surgery.  The only thing that has changed is my physical measurements.  I am the same fun loving, goofy, never sit still, procrastinating, confident, obnoxious, silly, creative, fun loving, sometimes too sensitive and happy self!  Love it, believe it ....or leave it!

Peace

Tami