And I kinda liked it.
Really ... I realized I was spending WAY too much time "liking" shit and looking at everything on Facebook. Like A LOT of time. So I decided to take a break.
I like sharing things. I like looking at things people share.
But I also found myself getting sucked into drama, getting mad about things I shouldn't even care about and generally just spending too much time and energy on nonsense on there.
Besides ... who really gives a shit about me anyway?
Well then ... out to lunch with the BFF and the youngest spawn and they decided to #bringtamiback ... okay now THAT was funny. I did check in every so often and see people's celebrations of their holidays and stuff. That was nice .. but I would look at the ones I cared about and moved on.
I said I would be back after the first of the year and I will but really ... I have important things to do OTHER than Facebook. I have a house to organize (one of my HUGE goals for 2015) and school to finish. I have two teenagers that need more work than when they did as toddlers ... (sorry folks of toddlers ... it just gets harder!) NOW is the time they are realizing they are PEOPLE and INDIVIDUALS and discovering who they are and that is scary and hard and they need their mom.
Just wiping their asses, feeding them and teaching them to talk and walk and manners ...well THAT was the EASY part. Helping and guiding them to become actual productive, tolerant, respectful, well adjusted human beings to go out into the real world ... THAT is hard.
UGH! School. I am in the final stretch and I have to say I am pretty fucking nervous. One more semester and I will have a BACHELORS in PSYCHOLOGY! WHAAAAAT? I just cannot believe it sometimes. It kinda blows my mind.
The way it worked out (because my adviser at the beginning of this RIC and finishing up my Bachelors expedition ill advised me) I will be able to walk in May but will still have to take two more classes (to be taken as summer courses) and then will "officially" get my degree in August. But shit ... walking in May ... I consider THAT a HUGE deal.
During the "break" I had a great time but also some low times.
Highlights:
Finished the semester with THREE Bs. MOST proud of my B in statistics and the professor telling me personally how proud she was of me
Traveled to Buffalo to see my baby cuz and clan and surprised her by bringing my other cuz (her sister) and her son to surprise her
Being able to get my kids the gifts they wanted without the worry of money
Resting and relaxing AT HOME with just the hubby and the kids for the first time EVER on Christmas Day!
Only gaining two pounds! LOL so far over vacation and holidays
Giving a homeless guy in Boston our leftovers from dinner! and Hunter saying as we walked away "Mom ... that was pretty awesome what you did right there"
Downlights:
Struggling with some major SAD
Realizing that my depression meds are NOT working to their full potential (due to gastric bypass or just general "they are just not working anymore" issues)
Kid stuff (mostly the youngest ... its tough being a teenage girl ... I know)
Realizing that I will have to actually put my degree to WORK and go out into the big bad world which brings its own HUGE amount of stress and anxiety (did I mention my meds do not work as effectively any more? LOL)
But when I look back at the last three years. The major motorcycle accident, the gastric bypass surgery and the major back surgery this last March ... I have come a long way.
I am proud of what I have accomplished as a mom, a wife, a friend, an all around strong woman and hope to better myself in the next year.
I feel I have matured IMMENSELY on quite a few levels in the past three years, either due to life's events or age or whatever but I know I can DO better and look forward to growing as a person!
I hope you ALL are safe tonight and I cherish you all!
Peace be with you and your family.
Love,
T
