First official holiday after surgery

So yesterday was Easter Sunday.  Easter is not a big of a holiday as say, like Thanksgiving or Christmas as far as an eating holiday.  But it has yummy chocolate!  More than the other holidays.  I did not eat one stinking Cadbury mini egg!  Believe it!  I so wanted to but know they are a weakness of mine so I didn't even buy any ... Not even for the kids.

So we go to dinner every year to my dad's.  my step-mom makes yummy pickled hard boiled colored eggs and I had one of those.  I also had a salad, first one since surgery.  Then at dinner, I passed on the rolls, but took ham, asparagus, white and sweet potatoes.  Just a tablespoon of each.  My plate looked full and I wondered, gee, could I eat all that?  The answer, yes, just about all of it.  I felt full, not too full.  Comfortable.  Did I want to eat more, yes ... Did I? No.  Did I feel like I ate too much?  No.

But I was kinda scared because I almost felt like I SHOULD have been sick.  Like I SHOULD have not been able to eat that much just under six weeks out from surgery.  I still stuck to the rule of not drinking before, during or half an hour after food.  This continues to be very hard for me as I always feel thirsty.

I want to be successful on this journey.  I want to be healthy and feel and look good.  I hear and read about others NO WAY being able to eat the things I can right now.  Some still have pain this soon out.  Some can barely keep their protein shakes down.  They are losing faster than me but I am losing at a steady and satisfactory pace according to my surgeon.  Should I be happy?

Of course I am happy but part of me wonders why I seem so different. I have had NO issues with ANYTHING I have eaten.  I have had normal "movements".   I can take all my pills, vitamins and supplements and shakes with no problem.  I always make sure I get in my 60-80 protein in a day.  My water consumption is still a bit lacking but I am working on it.

I was not as happy with my Easter pictures as I wanted to be.  This kinda made me sad.  I want the weight to melt off... Slide off!  I want it to go!  I am impatient!  I see all these pictures of people who look so different after losing 100 or more pounds.  I have 75 more to go.  I want to be there.

I am such a whiner, I know.  In just under six weeks I have come so far!  I am seeing a number on the scale I have not seen in years and years and I am in pants that I have not fit into since high school!

Stop bitching, right?  Well I am emotional as well and I think this is normal.  Just putting it here maybe will let someone else feel like they are not alone.

I just want to use my tool properly because that's what it is ... A tool.  And like any tool, it can be misused!

I don't want to be one of "those" stories.

I want to be a success story.