Six weeks out!

Soooooo it's been six weeks since surgery.  I am down a total of 35 lbs.  In a month since my last appointment I lost 15lbs.  The surgeon was happy with this.  I was not.  I am still losing consistently 2-4 lbs per week.  I know this is a nice healthy way to lose but I am still wishing it to come off faster. Oh we'll, patience was never one of my better traits. 

The surgeon gave me the okay to start a more strenuous work out.  I an going to start some resistance work outs.  And lifting small weights. 

I talked about how I have been depressed and have had some mini panic attacks.  I asked if I could go back on my psyche meds.  He said I could try but not sure how effective the Welbutrin XL will be.  Because of the bypass, the extended release meds may or may not work.  But my Celexa should work.  I don't really WANT to be on the meds but I know I am better with them.  I have anxious thoughts and the meds help with these.  So I have taken them almost a week now and it's too soon to tell.  I have an appointment with my PCP in June and I will definitely know by then if they are working.

So below are some pictures.  I have been looking back on some older pictures and realized that I had gotten pretty big.  Everyone says I carried my weight well.  I saw someone today that I have not seen all winter.  He didn't say anything about me looking differently.  ( I mean men don't usually say things like that but still) I was surprised.  I think I look different.  Even before surgery I had lost about 20ish lbs.  So the last time this person saw me was like 50 something lbs ago.  I dunno.... I cannot wait for the moment when someone sees me, that hasn't seen me in awhile, or may/may not know about the surgery notices how different I look.
I wonder when the time will come when I don't "feel" like a fat girl.  When I am walking around and I feel different.  I wonder if I will always look at myself as a plus sized girl even when I am not? 

Six week photo
From now on I am going to try to wear a cami and some black pants for every picture.