You'll Shoot Your Eye Out, Kid ....

Guns.
You either like them or hate them.
You either believe we should be able to have them or not.
There does not seem to be a happy medium when it comes to this subject.
Kinda like religion or politics.  And the discussion about guns can get just as heated. People get FIRED UP! I think a lot of it has to do with how you are raised.
I grew up around guns.  I held them, loaded them, unloaded them, shot them.
My dad took us numerous times to a gun club and I would watch him shoot.  I don't ever remember him telling me  to back up, cover my ears or be careful.  I remember him handing me a gun and telling me to shoot.  I remember running around the gun club like it was a freaking playground. We stayed for a weekend sometimes and I actually have fond memories of the place and the time we spent there. There was woods, creeks, frogs, dirt and lots of guns.  Good food, drunk grown-ups and lots of guns!
It was, after all, the 70's.
By today's standards my parents would probably had DCYF on their ass. I was literally a wee child as you will see in the awesome picture below. I think I was MAYBE FIVE YEARS old. Sooooooo 1979 "ish". Damn! Look at that cuteness!
I knew where my dad kept his guns.  Knew where he kept the ammo and I was a very curious child. Now neither of my parents were neglectful. See that old school playpen in the background? My mother probably had me in that thing until my eighth birthday and even IF I DID know how to climb out (and I am sure I did), if she put my ass in there I stayed in there until she said I could get out.  I kept myself busy.  I did not dare get out until I was told.
So what happened? When did we become a country so afraid of guns? When did things change and go awry? When did common sense get thrown out the window? And why?



Growing up around guns made guns not a big deal.  Not being such a big deal made them just that ... not a big deal.  Of course, we were TOLD not to touch the guns. 

... most of the time I did not listen.  I just knew they were to be respected.  I do not particularly remember what was going on in this picture.  Knowing my dad, he probably thought I looked quite adorable holding these two and decided right then in that moment that it should be snapped and kept for posterity.  I personally adore this picture! Besides the confusion of why I am dressed like a boy and I looked like I needed a good hair brushing, I feel like I was happy in this slice of childhood.
If a picture like this ended up on Facebook today ... ALL HELL WOULD BREAK LOOSE. I have thought about actually posting it but didn't want to start a shit show.  And shame that it would or could do such a thing.  I am not sure what happened to us all.  I remember being outafter dark, jumping roofs, breaking into junk yards and pretending to drive inside the old cars.  One time in one particular old junk yard we opened an old car to a nest of angry wasps .... yep ... that sucked! A few times we got caught and the owner yelled a good ol' "Scram you damn kids!" Yes ... it was THAT corny.  I miss those corny days.  We were tough city kids.  We spit, swore, talked about farts and burps and poop.  We laid down in the mud to take a nap with the family dog and never wore shoes.
What the F happened?


Back to the guns.  So after my parents got divorced, my dad had a breakdown and all of his guns got taken away.  When you go into a mental hospital, that shit happens and rightly so.
So guns were not a big part of my life after that.  He did eventually get them all back ... do not ask me how. Mental illness, alcoholism, drug abuse ... it all runs rampant in my family. But we had guns!
So here we are.
Whether pro gun or not, everyone needs to listen to reason.  Law-abiding citizens deserve to have the right to protect themselves and their families through gun ownership.  They deserve the right to enjoy firearms as a sport and for hunting.  If you practice safe and responsible gun ownership, you should be able to claim your Second Amendment rights.
It is pretty much that simple.
The boss loves guns.  I knew this when I met him. He is a straight up red neck and I love him.  We fought a little here and there about guns in the house once babies started being born and for a long time they went away.  I just did not want them around the kids.  He worked a lot when they were small and the boy was literally like Houdini.  And times had changed. Kids were shooting up schools and it was all changing.  The world in general was taking a huge turn and you could feel it happening.  The World Wide Web, social media, terrorism.  Columbine, Oklahoma City bombing .... Sept 11.
People were afraid of guns, but guns were on the rise.  Fear was on the rise.  We were no longer worried as much about nuclear war as in my day but war on our streets.  War on our kids and schools and this apocalyptic mindset right here in our own homes andbackyards.
2016 was THE YEAR of the gun.

As of the beginning of 2016, there were over 14.5 million concealed carry permits in the US.  THAT REPRESENTS A 215% increase in the number of permits since 2007.  Yet, those numbers are clearly an underestimate of the number of people who can legally carry because there are 12 states now where you do not need a permit to be able to carry, and while some people in those states still get a permit to be able to carry outside their state, the number of permits in these Constitutional Carry states does tend to fall.
The biggest increases in permit have been for women and minorities.  The number of women with permits has increased twice as quickly as the number of men with permits.
The boss wants a permit to carry.  I am not a fan.  Of course it is his right and we have guns in the house now.  Only the past few years or so have we had guns and the ammunition to go with them in our home.  We take the proper precautions. They are not loaded, locked up, etc.  Having a permit to carry is a whole thing that just makes me nervous. The boss  is a "gotta protect my family" man and I get it.  But I can also see how that creates an unnecessary burden to do so under any and all circumstances.  It IS a scary world  out there but I do not want to lose my husband because he decided to play hero on a madman that decides to go all out in a store or restaurant we are in.  But THAT is exactly why he feels he HAS the right to carry one.  I go back and forth.  I feel it can give  a burden that I would not be prepared to handle.  And bad guy or not ... who can know that they can be prepared to take a life?
I do not think guns themselves are the sole reason for people killing.  If someone is gonna kill or wants to kill ... they will find a way. But guns ALWAYS take the blame.

I do not have any answers.  All I know is it is a right ... a RIGHT in the Constitution that as a responsible citizen  you have the right to bear arms.
There are a lot of things that should/could/need to happen to keep citizens safe. I do not have any answers.  All I know is people on either side need to educate themselves.  Guns are to be respected, are to be had responsibly and as of right now ... still a given right to own.

Oh and pro gun or not .... I am SOOOOOOO DAMN CUTE IN THIS PICTURE!
Just saying!

Peace and love people ... peace and love.
t

Just this ....

I didn't realize this just today but ... everytime I think about it ... it feels just as fresh as if it were today.
It is what it is.

Survivor Dad

The Next Survivor Series

The following was sent to me in an email by a friend! I thought it was great!

Enjoy!

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and take either music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must:
take care of his 3 kids;
keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework,
complete science projects,
cook, do laundry,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time, no e-mailing.

Each man must also take each child to:
a doctor's appointment,
a dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for:
decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside,
and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must:
shave their legs,
wear makeup daily,
adorn themselves with jewelry,
wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,
keep fingernails polished,
and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to:
endure severe abdominal cramps,
back aches,
head aches,
have extreme, unexplained mood swings
but never once complain or
slow down from other duties.

They must attend:
weekly school meetings
and church,
and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or
a similar setting.

They will need to:
read a book to the kids each night
and in the morning,
feed them,
dress them,
brush their teeth and
comb their hair by 7:00 am

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks,
and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's
birthday,
height,
weight,
shoe size,
clothes size,
doctor's name,
the child's weight at birth,
length,
time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's
favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if....
he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years,
eventually earning the right to be called Mother!

Almost four years out ... the four leaf clover

Year four ... in one and one half months I will be four years out from gastric bypass.  

Entering year four ... the number four is a cool number.

Number 4 is the number of stability, order and completion of justice

Number 4 is the number of the earth and mankind.

Number 4 is the number of the square.

Number 4 symbolizes building a strong foundation.

And 

Four years from when I decided to change my entire insides.

  I think about this sometimes.  I went and had surgery performed that forever changes the way my body will process food, fuel that I put into my body. And that is how I have to think about food now ... as fuel.  I think more about food since having the surgery than I EVER DID BEFORE SURGERY. It is such a weird feeling.  Before I would just eat to eat.  After surgery it is always thinking ... is this food providing me with the proper nutrients for my body, my brain.  Is it giving me the protein I need? Blah, blah, blah ... I am sick of thinking about food. And I will be honest ... once you forget thinking about food, you gain weight. Year one, I lost 120 lbs like a cake walk. A HUGE jump start and relief for my system.  Sleep apnea gone, GERD GONE and diabetes ... gone.

Year two went on to maintain and gained a few pounds back which I was thankful for because I was looking sickly but I knew my body would figure it out. 

Year three ... maintained for almost all until I entered the working world. Last 

September I got a full-time "real world" working job. 

Within a few months I gained 20lbs.  Not a HUGE deal for some or most.  But I also felt different.  I could go to a restaurant and eat almost all of the food on a plate.  Gone were the days of bringing home food to eat for lunch and dinner the next day.  Gone were the days of being a cheap date! Lol! 

I thought it was the food I was eating at work but I stopped eating the food and started bringing salads. So um no. I was making poor food choices.  A Taco Bell trip here ... some mozzarella sticks there but damn twenty pounds just stayed! 

A friend of mine started up a chapter of TOPS (take off pounds sensibly) a wonderful supportive group where you do your own thing to try to lose weight, weigh in each week and hold one another accountable.  There are contests, challenges.  I have been a member a year now and can say that while I still have not lost the twenty ... I have not gained anymore either.  If it keeps me maintaining where I am , and I believe it does that may be okay for me.But there was another thing bothering me.  Why WAS I able to eat more, feel hungry more?   But yet on some days I could barely bring myself to eat anything because I was not hungry at all.  I do NOT DRINK CARBONATED BEVERAGES! Whew THAT is super painful, nor do I eat a bunch of junk food.  And now sometimes I had a pain just under my ribs sometimes when I ate and more and more food was making it on the DNE (Do Not Eat) list. It was becoming quite frustrating.  So sometimes  I could sit down for a whole meal and sometimes I would sit down and have two bites and would be Thanksgiving Day full.  

I decided it was time to take a trip to the doc.  The first thing we did was an 

upper GI.  This is when you swallow some crappy tasting stuff and they record it by X-ray image going all through your insides. Super duper awesome!! The doc wanted to make sure there was no way food or anything was getting into the stomach that was separated from the pouch created by the bypass.  Or that things were not stretched at the top or bottom of my pouch. 

Results .... everything looks good. Good ...yes of course, I didn't want issues but now what was the freaking issue? There was one area that the doc said could be a bit larger than it should be if you look at the image on it you will see where I have circled.  He referred me to the other doc in his office to look at for a procedure called overstitch.  See YouTube video. 

https://youtu.be/6chrB5qVzmI

It may be that the doc will look at it and may think it is not even worth it to go in.  Maybe he will think it is worth it.  I will find out in February.  Maybe he will think it is worth it but I won't want to do it.  Me and anesthesia are not friends. So I may not think it is worth it. 

Ultimately ... admittedly I have not TRIED HARD enough to lose the weight.  I am healthy and comfortable and still have no other health problems.  Maybe this is the weight I am supposed to be.  I have always trusted my body before.  I still have a month and a half to decide. For now I will make a few small adjustments to my lifestyle. 

I never ever ever regret getting the gastric bypass surgery.  It was something I wish I had done sooner but glad I made the decision to do it when I did.  I am not perfect and know there are things I can do now so I will do them.  If you are here because YOU are thinking about the RNY bypass or the sleeve or any form of bariatric surgery ... know it is a tool not a lifetime solution. Fix your issues beforehand. It WILL forever change your life.  It has changed mine for the better but not without its struggles here and there. 

Stay peaceful my friends. 

-t

It gets done ...

Some days she has no idea how she will do it ....
But every. Single. Day.
It gets done.

What makes us resilient? What makes some create when others crumble?
What makes some persevere while others perish?

This has been a trying year. And there is still a month to go.
I choose to be strong despite the obstacles.
Despite the monster knocking at the door.
Despite the doubts, the wishes that never came true, the what-ifs and the could-haves.

Choosing your path is powerful.

Choosing to continue to be yourself in a world of who-am-I mentality is empowering.

Stay the course.
Billow out those sails ... let the wind capture you and just go!

Peace
~t

Choose love this holiday season.

We live in a world of too much "stuff" and not enough of the stuff that is free like love, compassion, empathy, tolerance and friendship.  This holiday season I am asking anyone who would normally think about getting any material items for my family (including the kids) please donate that money to my friend Matt Houde's page for the Polar Plunge for Special Olympics.
My family does not need "things". We are actually looking to go extreme minimizing in 2017 for goals we are looking at for our future.  I have been blessed with a roof over my head in this little house by the sea for fifteen years, a happy marriage for twenty and two beautiful healthy children.  Tony Ward Jr. and I want to support Matt and his craziness to go plunging into the bay and freeze his *#% off and his support for Special Olympics.  As you know, Hunter has been involved with Special Olympics in the past and it is an awesome organization.  And Hailey  is looking to be involved in the future (she is thinking about soccer)
Let me tell you about Matt who you will be supporting.  Matt is one of my sweetest friends.  We have known one another since high school. He has seen some hard times.  During these times when things were rough, I have never known him to faulter, give up or not try harder to be the best he can be.  He is always smiling and never negative. He is a phenomenal father to his daughter, Nancy, who he is plunging for.  She is a great kid , who despite her own obstacles, is always smiling.  I assure you that your donation could not support a more deserving family and organization.
Just sharing this will help too!
In a time where it's all about things, things, things ... please consider a non-materialistic gift.  I would love for him to be able to CRUSH his goal of $200 in record breaking time and show him that there are gifts that are greater than materialistic items and they come in the form of support, friendship, kindness and love.
Blessings to you all and let us all be blessed with good health and love in this upcoming holiday season!
PLEASE CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW:

http://www.firstgiving.com/team/338289

Burdening of the Young

Let's all just step back and take a breather.
Our kids are listening to our words and how WE are handling things.  They are bringing their stresses with them to school.  They are worrying.
These are grown up problems people.
It is one thing to inform your kids but to BURDEN them is not necessary.
Things have NOT happened yet.  It is our job to reassure them we are here to keep them safe, love them, educate them, empower them.
Stress that your family is safe.
Be together
Carefully consider your child's maturity and temperament
Consider your own reactions. Your kids will look to the way you handle the news to determine their own approach. If you stay calm and rational, they will, too.

I work in a therapeutic school and today was rough.  I was there with reassurance for my students that these ARE grown up problems and I hear their voice but humans are resilient and often in the most bleakest of times we have shown time and time again that we can always find hope and fight for what is right.

ITS OKAY people to not have an opinion around your kids/students about this election so as to help quell their fears.  And as an educator I absolutely have NO opinion to share with my students.
You can reassure your kids that life will go on and the world is NOT ending.
I feel PRETTY STRONGLY that we need to make sure this message gets in.
With all the fear and anxiety running wild the last few months, we need to proactively reassure them that they are safe and they are loved.

Kids feel it, and their anxiety is real, said Lori Edelson, owner and director of the Birmingham Maple Clinic, who also is a therapist.

"The most damaging situations are when the parents communicate their own anxiety and fear, that’s when the child’s own anxiety and fear are amplified even more," she said. "But if mom and dad look like they get what’s going on — and it’s not a big deal, like a kid in school throwing a temper tantrum — it doesn’t have the same traumatic effect. ... We have to remember as parents that even if it makes us anxious and scared we have to communicate calm.

http://neatoday.org/2016/11/09/talking-to-students-about-election/
“I’m also going to tell them that nothing is going to change overnight,” Ellis says. “I want them to feel safe. As educators, that’s what we do in difficult times.”

In the end, we all know what a good sport looks like.  We all have to be good sports, and we can’t win all the time. That’s what a democracy is really all about. It’s the majority rules. There’s always a minority. There’s always a loser.



http://wtop.com/parenting/2016/11/wondering-tell-kids-election/