Noooooo way! Yes way!

I love July!  As I said in my last post .... I like to celebrate all month.  July is my bday month and it just signifies summer to me.  I am a Thirty-One consultant (shameless plug here: www.mythirtyone.com/tward) and I have been to conference for two years.  The first year was great! It was in Ohio.  Last year they moved it to Atlanta GA.  Last year was tough.  I didn't let on to anyone at all how uncomfortable I was.  I literally was at my largest last summer.  I had a hard time on the plane, a hard time on the busses and generally just uncomfortable everywhere.  So I was looking back at my pictures from those two years.  Even though I was uncomfortable I still felt pretty and of course have my crazy sparkling personality.
Looking at those pictures.... And ESP putting the, side by side ... I feel embarrassed.  I actually don't want to feel this way but I do.  What happened?  Where did I lose my health?  Why didn't I see how my body was changing?  I can blame it on all kinds of things.  But I won't.  I won't blame it on being lazy cause I wasn't.  I dunno what happened.
I showed the kids a picture of me from JUST last year and they were like "Noooooo way!" That's not you!  Oh way baby ... It WAS me.  I spent all of my twenties and almost all of my thirties ... NOT what I wanted to be.
Don't get me wrong ... I am an awesome wife, a damn good mom and a hard worker.  I am always on the go and I am SO proud of what the huz and I have created together. But physically ...
In my head ... I always looked like I do now.  (Maybe 25lbs less). When I saw myself in my dreams I looked exactly like I do now.  Maybe I really thought I looked that way?  I dunno?
The way I am now physically is the smallest my children has ever seen me.  Why don't they remember the way I looked last year 100+ lbs heavier?  Should I take it as a compliment that people never really SAW my size.  Can I flatter myself and think that my awesome personality made them overlook that?  Hmmmmm?  I maybe think too much.  The weird thing now is when I look at myself in the mirror the image I see is not the image in my head.  I still feel like the big girl I was last year!  When did that whole thing reverse?  Anyway here are some recent pics of me.  First the comparison picture and then a cute one of me the other morning.  My face has NEVER been this thin ... Not even in high school.  It's just weird!