Lessons Learned

I hate moments that "make you grow".
Okay ... no, I do not.  I hate the feeling it gives you initially.  That feeling of "oh shit ... I did something wrong ... ugh ... this is going to turn into a growing/teaching moment"

Let's talk about that for a minute.  You know that feeling.  That feeling of that your stomach sinking and your throat closing up.  That feeling of anger and disappointment (most of the time in yourself).
That feeling of climbing up another rung of the ladder of wisdom/maturity in your life.

Man ... it is hard.  Sometimes I cry about it.  Sometimes it infuriates me to the point where I really cannot even handle the emotion so I just run on empty and silent for a while.  I let it scathe my soul and then I find a way to release it.  Sometimes it passes gently and almost peacefully and the acceptance washes over me like a good long hot shower.  But ALL the time ... it kinda burns.  I can compare it to a bad case of acid reflux.  It sits in my throat and just burns.  

How I choose to handle it is where the growth comes from.  Sometimes I fight it like a championship boxer going for the last round.  Okay, more than sometimes.  Why do so many of us fight "growth"?
One word ... EGO.  Okay another word, PRIDE.

WE knew we were better than that.  WE knew the potential for growth was going to happen.  
I think these experiences come in waves throughout our lives and I am fine with that.
What I am not fine with is when SO many come SO fast ALL at once.
Such is the story of my life lately.  SO much of the wisdom, growth, maturity ... the "I should have known better" scenarios ... happening ALL at once.

Exhausting.

How do we slow it down?  
I think WE have to slow down.  Our mind, our bodies, our souls and our surroundings.
Breathe.  

I am ready to slow down.  To chill.  To grow a little more slowly for a little while.

Peace to you my friends always and in all ways
t

“Smart people do stupid things. Stupid people don't learn from them.” 
― Frank Sonnenberg, Soul Food: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life

“Many times what we perceive as an error or failure is actually a gift. And eventually we find that lessons learned from that discouraging experience prove to be of great worth.” 
― Richelle E. Goodrich, Smile Anyway